Tuesday, September 22, 2009
12:06:00 AM
will people really intentionally avoid someone due to personal reasons. like all of sudden , no warning no anything then jus mia? hmm. i dont understand y they choose it. i know i disappoint one fren then i tried my best with another then it seem to fail too. y izzit so?
can someone explain?
anyway. uni is fun but it isnt all that pretty picture after all. i got friends who think tt girls like me try to take advantage of them. when all we wan is jus like a safe ride back. it doesnt make sense. i mean like if u are so schemin in the first place then u'll start to think tt ppl is scheming. only when u are so full of evil thinkin then can u think of evil thoughts. does it all make sense?
i hope im not tryin to make logic out of nothing.
and i just realise wat it feels like to be half blind and not have a fone. i stand there trying my best to look out for a familiar sight of your car. but all that past by were taxis. i looked harder, look for a friendly stranger to borrow a fone, but the thing is i cant even see their expression, how do i know if they are friendly. the kinda panic and fear and anxiety. u wont understand. panic that make me feel like pulling out my hair, clenchin my fist. that what it really felt like. thats y i just teared when i saw u. its like a relief that u are safe. and im safe too. it goes both ways. im not angry. its jus fear. i cant imagine u not by side. seriously. omgosh, sound like a desperate dependent kid. tsk. hate it lei. but u know how it feels like only weekends. how pathetic it seems. we are tog yet somewhat also stuck in diff situations. its just bad.
how do i put wat i wanna say in words. when im in this 2nd hall. when all tt surround me is frens, i know i have to be happy. i know i'll affect ppl around me. i try my bestest to keep tt face. sound so ego. but everyone's mood affect everyone. yes. its true. believe me (:
then when i wanna emo. i wanna take a break. i try to imagine myself being tortured, like being kidnapped and canned. feel tt pain. feel that hurt. and i know tml 'll be better. yar. thats how it is. starting a new day all over again.
its stupid how life is. like i know one day He'll come. i better make full use of my time. i need to. gosh. i dont wanna have to many bad things on my list(: must make full use. startin of QT all over again.make it work.
can someone explain?
anyway. uni is fun but it isnt all that pretty picture after all. i got friends who think tt girls like me try to take advantage of them. when all we wan is jus like a safe ride back. it doesnt make sense. i mean like if u are so schemin in the first place then u'll start to think tt ppl is scheming. only when u are so full of evil thinkin then can u think of evil thoughts. does it all make sense?
i hope im not tryin to make logic out of nothing.
and i just realise wat it feels like to be half blind and not have a fone. i stand there trying my best to look out for a familiar sight of your car. but all that past by were taxis. i looked harder, look for a friendly stranger to borrow a fone, but the thing is i cant even see their expression, how do i know if they are friendly. the kinda panic and fear and anxiety. u wont understand. panic that make me feel like pulling out my hair, clenchin my fist. that what it really felt like. thats y i just teared when i saw u. its like a relief that u are safe. and im safe too. it goes both ways. im not angry. its jus fear. i cant imagine u not by side. seriously. omgosh, sound like a desperate dependent kid. tsk. hate it lei. but u know how it feels like only weekends. how pathetic it seems. we are tog yet somewhat also stuck in diff situations. its just bad.
how do i put wat i wanna say in words. when im in this 2nd hall. when all tt surround me is frens, i know i have to be happy. i know i'll affect ppl around me. i try my bestest to keep tt face. sound so ego. but everyone's mood affect everyone. yes. its true. believe me (:
then when i wanna emo. i wanna take a break. i try to imagine myself being tortured, like being kidnapped and canned. feel tt pain. feel that hurt. and i know tml 'll be better. yar. thats how it is. starting a new day all over again.
its stupid how life is. like i know one day He'll come. i better make full use of my time. i need to. gosh. i dont wanna have to many bad things on my list(: must make full use. startin of QT all over again.make it work.
