there's so much i wanna talk abt. feel so exhausted in this world. sometime wished i simply didnt belong. if only its so easy to disappear whenever i want to. to ... (the exact word) vanish/disintegrate. hmm. was ever excited to go through childbearing when im older. like a traditional women. guess life makes me think twice. yes. and. i think i will stop regrettin joing the organisation.

maybe i did grow up after all
maybe.

i thought i was good at looking at people. like how i can seem to feel who has a ulterior motive, who are not who they seem to be. i just proved myself right. i can trust my instinct. coz so far none feared. but i wonder y. even when i know its true, i choose to step beyond. to go into the area where i involved my "soul" in it. like giving my all in it to change things. i must have been outta my mind thinking that i can make a person better. i must be.

yes. about growing up. yes. i think i know how impt it is not to trust anyone wholeheartedly. coz... theres problem with the fact that u think that there's no problem. okays. mum jus interrupted my thoughts.

be back next time.