i just realise if anyone asked me: would i pick up the form again if we can go back in time. my answer will be NO. i dont think i have grwon, maybe because i didnt try as hard. and i dont think what some are going through is worth the testi that i can almost predict i will get. " joanna is a secretary of the 5th student counil" nothing more. and i hate to say this life in this organization made me skeptical about life, make me lose hope, make me wonder y i didnt just give up, make me wonder what passion did i have before. i dont know. guess life here shatters every bubble that was built around me before i stepped into this school. right down to the bottomless pit. i guess then i can say there's no ending and there's no light. i realise the only person i can ever love is Jesus. in the times i hated myself, i hated my life, hated everything, i know his love can melt my heart. yet i just cant bring myself back to him. dont wanna be in that position that i know i will just hurt him more and more. the death on the cross was nothing compared to the many times our sin hurt his heart.

wont someone give me a reason to do well in my studies.

wont someone just give me a reason to live today

wont someone just give me a reason to smile, the smile that will light up ones face

wont someone give me a reason to hold on to this organiztion that i once thought dear to me.

im sorry im giving up on some people because i know good things never come in threes. and i believe u will be happier that way. trust me.

to thosse and all thanks. i hope u know who u are.