its been arn 16 days since i last blogged. if anyone think that this is a rottin blog, so be it. i dont really care what u think. managed to resist any burnin urge to on e com and blog. mid yrs are drawin near and i wonder y im still in e mood for com. jus received e test schedule. somehow i felt less stress lookin at it. maybe its ... argh. nvm . the harsh reality is always up there for us to face. today there was this invited speaker. then there were qns like whats ur worth and purpose in life. well. my purpose in life is supposedly to be to give glory and honour to God. so does havin good grades do the trick? i wonder. i hope i can do better this term otherwise i really dont know how to face my parents...

haix...

when we wake up everyday, we have two choices. to be happy or sad. i dont know y but these few days, im feelin v fan zhao... i dont know y. sth is botherin me but i cant identify what... or izzit just my refusal to believe? its so hard to keep smilin and pretend that everything is okay. im srry if i did pissed anyone off with my attitude. it sux to vent ur anger on someone innocent. sometimes i jus know that i pissed someone but i jus pretend not to care. im srry. feelin a bit guilty.. it's a torture to live for others, isnt it?

well .. and there has been an increasinly amount of ppl that say that im childish.. i tot we grow mature not the other way round.. sometimes i wonder if i really childish or am i tryin to act that way. its like if u be really mature, u'll definitely be out of place. then where shld i stand? i dont know... be myself? hahas. longin to find the true me too.. what a drag.

and ... some ppl jus dont know when to stop. learn to respect other ppl's privacy, cant u? y do u all like to get the latest gossip or the latest "dirt" ? y? this world.. i shld hv nv learn to trust. Man can nv be trusted!! i learnt this hard truth once and now i think i get it again ... ppl show their true colours unknowingly, and sometimes i rather not know. i rather believe the lies u spin to cover yourself. i rather not know the truth abt u. and when i say u, i refer to the majority of the ppl who are such BIG, FAT LIARS, and HYPOCRITES! one big sigh. and one of my kor asked me this not long before, "what hv u done recently that u regret ?" i think its learnin to trust. trust are meant to bring about hurt...

however, all is not lost. i learnt the power of promise tooo. maybe promises are meant to be broken too, but i dont believe. i hv seen some ppl who are true to their word. if the promise is worthy to be made, it shld be worthy enough to be kept. moreover, i learnt that its not e worthiness, its the willingness. and i would say i gladly do it for certain ppl. for though they may not be worth the effort but the love for them would overpower everything. if u love enough, u'll definitely be more than willing, right?

shall cont later. dont feel like bloggin already.