Thursday, August 04, 2005
8:38:00 PM
so much to say, yet no words can express it. i dont know.. today was lookin forward to singin.. but aft that i feel so empty. its a emptiness that i feel so weird aft that... i dont know. feelin so sad aft readin sher mei blog... make me think abt all the time in comm. did i really makre a differance? do i deserve the post in the past one yr? have i proof my worth? m i still worth the post? and... what abt the relationship with sec4s. yes. i said i value relationships with ppl but do i really practise what i preach? do i? or m i jus another girl with a mask? looks like i hv to do some soul searchin... i dont know. i wish i had more time with Serene. She is definately a good good tao and... i bet i hv been lettin her down. sometimes i really dont know how to talk to her.. i cant bring myself to talk. izzit jus me??? i wish... i had more time. more time. this yr, time really flies. literally. flies.. off off and away.
i dont want farewell to happen. i hv finally find belonging with the sec4. the first time i can truely search my heart and admit it. i lurve the sec4s.. and i dont deny i use to dislike them. why the sudden change? coz Xiang Ying 05 made me realise and see all the qualities that the sec4s hv.. they may still be the same sec4 but they hv make a differance in my life. i didnt regret agreeing to be the daojuzuzhang for nayiye.. for there was when i found a sense of belonging. not always but... isnt this how life is suppose to work? there might be stress and i admit that i was on the verge of breaking down. yet, the tears nv seem to fall. it seems so wrong to actually cry. imagine the goin back of sch everyday durin the holidays jus coz of daoju and xuan chuan... and to add on the stress, datedues... everything. when u feel that u'r faced with a grp of ppl that cant help u at all... when u want some one to help u but there's no one to turn to. cry of despair...
well. its all worth it!!! :D im glad.
havin a post no longer matters. its no longer the power nor ath else that matters. i dont mind and i dont want the post. who needs that? its jus a title. i can still give in my all w/o havin a post. i dont need to be in comm. RIGHT?
to all sec4s... i really hope to hv a one last outing. and i really hope that it'll be a mermorable one.. hope that i can treasure my time with u guys.. :D
lurve lots.
i dont want farewell to happen. i hv finally find belonging with the sec4. the first time i can truely search my heart and admit it. i lurve the sec4s.. and i dont deny i use to dislike them. why the sudden change? coz Xiang Ying 05 made me realise and see all the qualities that the sec4s hv.. they may still be the same sec4 but they hv make a differance in my life. i didnt regret agreeing to be the daojuzuzhang for nayiye.. for there was when i found a sense of belonging. not always but... isnt this how life is suppose to work? there might be stress and i admit that i was on the verge of breaking down. yet, the tears nv seem to fall. it seems so wrong to actually cry. imagine the goin back of sch everyday durin the holidays jus coz of daoju and xuan chuan... and to add on the stress, datedues... everything. when u feel that u'r faced with a grp of ppl that cant help u at all... when u want some one to help u but there's no one to turn to. cry of despair...
well. its all worth it!!! :D im glad.
havin a post no longer matters. its no longer the power nor ath else that matters. i dont mind and i dont want the post. who needs that? its jus a title. i can still give in my all w/o havin a post. i dont need to be in comm. RIGHT?
to all sec4s... i really hope to hv a one last outing. and i really hope that it'll be a mermorable one.. hope that i can treasure my time with u guys.. :D
lurve lots.
