hahas. im back.

hmm. i feel so isolated . sometimes i really wonder if i belong to 3h. i just wish for some specia fren that i can really relate and talk to. i mean its not abt the cliques... but i just want for a friendship tt is beyond just good frens. ok. maybe im asking to much or maybe im too sensitive. but i dont know what to hang on too. like the song vindicated. hope dangles on the string...
im sick of being the monitress. there are ppl out there who are better than me and who knows, some ppl might already been badmouthing me. saying tt i abuse my authority. but come to think of it, aft saying all these, maybe i just hope for someone to say , No! i think you should stay as monitress and stuff like that. maybe i just want ppl to pity me. maybe.... HAHAS. what a silly girl i'm. im nothing but dust, RIGHT?!
I know im not perfect... but sometimes my imperfections just doesnt knock into my head... and how would i know? hmm. ponders for a moment* i dont feel like my usual self do i?

i had thought abt it. abt everything. i dont want to be the girl i use to be anymore. my motto " smile less! " ppl who seem happy are always the ones who ppl hurt ... so... why let yourself be hurt? i dont know if i can take it anymore.

i dont deny i tot abt suicide.. but its like i knew the consequences. and im not realy the WOWS and good christian. i get discouraged too. and sometimes i need encouragements.. lolx. what am i talking abt? ...

hahas. i'll stop b4 i start crapping. yeah? hahas. and he's on9 so i can find motivatn :D